by Patricia Wall – The Club at Woodbridge
The Power of Speaking Your Truth in Life and on Your Journey
Hey there, I get it—standing up for yourself is tough. Whether it’s in your personal life or when you’re working on your health and well-being, it’s not always easy to speak your truth. But let me tell you something: standing up for yourself, especially when it hurts, is one of the most empowering things you can do for your mental and emotional well-being—and it’s something we all need to learn to do.
Why Standing Up for Yourself Matters
When it comes to your personal life, there are constant pressures—whether from family, friends, or society—that make you feel like you’re not enough, or that you should be doing more. And the same can happen when you’re working on your physical well-being. You see others with seemingly perfect results, and it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. But standing up for yourself isn’t just about protecting your personal boundaries—it’s also about respecting your own journey, whether it’s emotional, mental, or physical.
Here’s the truth: if you don’t stand up for yourself, you’re letting others dictate how you feel, what you do, and what you’re capable of. That’s not fair to you. As Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” This resonates deeply because if you don’t take control of your own journey—whether it’s related to your relationships or your physical goals—you risk losing yourself in the process. By speaking your truth, you can own your path and stop comparing it to others.
The Emotional Toll of Speaking Up
Let’s be real for a second: standing up for yourself does hurt sometimes. You might worry about hurting someone else, facing judgment, or feeling like you’re being difficult. But let’s reframe this for a moment: that emotional discomfort is often the sign that you are doing something difficult, but important.
In her book The Dance of Anger, Dr. Harriet Lerner writes, “Anger is not a sign that something is wrong with you, but rather a signal that something is wrong in the way others are treating you.” This applies to more than just feelings of anger—it applies to any emotions that arise when you’re faced with the challenge of standing your ground. Whether it’s telling someone you need time for yourself or deciding that your body needs rest after pushing too hard in your workouts, these emotions are signals that you need to stand up for your boundaries. It might be uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
The Art of Standing Up for Yourself Without Regret
Now that we understand why standing up for yourself is important—and that it might hurt at times—let’s talk about how to do it in a way that feels empowering and true to who you are. It’s not about being rude or confrontational, but about respecting your needs and honoring your boundaries.
**Know Your Values and Stick to Them
Whether it’s in your relationships or when it comes to your health journey, it’s important to know what’s most important to you. What do you truly value? What makes you feel aligned with your true self? If you’re clear about your values, it becomes much easier to stand firm in your decisions, even when others try to push you in different directions.
Take a moment to think about your goals—not just the physical goals but the deeper emotional and mental ones. Are you seeking balance in your life? Is improving your health part of it, or are you more focused on creating space for personal growth? Knowing what you want and why you want it will help you make decisions that align with your needs, rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing.
As Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” This rings true in all areas of life—when you stand up for what you believe in, whether it’s taking time for self-care, choosing not to overextend yourself, or saying no to an unrealistic expectation, you’re showing love for yourself.
**Own Your Journey with “I” Statements
The power of “I” statements can be a game-changer in your personal life and when it comes to your health journey. Instead of saying, “You always push me too hard,” try, “I feel overwhelmed when I’m pushed too hard.” This helps to express your feelings without sounding accusatory or defensive, allowing the conversation to stay productive and respectful.
When it comes to your journey toward better health or personal goals, the same approach applies. If someone is encouraging you to go faster or harder than you’re ready for, use your voice to communicate your limits. Saying, “I need to slow down to listen to my body” or “I need more rest to recover properly” are healthy ways to stand up for yourself.
**Expect Pushback or Resistance
In both your personal life and your fitness journey, when you start standing up for yourself, you might encounter resistance. People might challenge your boundaries, question your decisions, or make you feel guilty for choosing yourself. But the key here is this: it’s okay to face resistance.
It’s often hardest at the beginning, but with every step, you grow stronger in your ability to hold your ground. It’s like when you decide to take a day off from the gym or cut back on social engagements for your mental health. People might not understand at first, but that’s their problem, not yours. What matters is that you’re making decisions that support your well-being and personal growth.
**Don’t Apologize for Resting or Saying No
In a world that often glorifies hustle and productivity, you don’t need to apologize for taking time for yourself—whether it’s in your relationships, career, or when you need to rest and recover in your health journey. Rest is necessary. It’s essential to your growth, both physically and emotionally. If you’re constantly feeling pressured to do more, be more, or push harder, it can leave you exhausted and drained.
Mel Robbins puts it perfectly: “Stop apologizing for being yourself. Stop apologizing for setting boundaries. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting to take care of yourself.” This is true in all aspects of life. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for taking a step back when you need it.
**Forgive Yourself for the Discomfort of Saying No
After standing up for yourself—whether it’s in a conversation or in your health practices—you might experience discomfort or guilt. But here’s the truth: that discomfort is normal. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong—it means you’ve grown. Standing up for your needs can feel challenging, especially at first, but over time, you’ll realize that those moments of discomfort are part of the process.
Be kind to yourself. When you stand up for yourself, you’re choosing to honor your needs, even when it’s difficult. That’s something to be proud of.
Disclaimer
This blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. If you’re struggling with assertiveness or need support in setting boundaries, please consult a mental health professional or coach for personalized guidance.
Citations
Angelou, M. (2008). Letter to My Daughter. Random House.
Lerner, H. (1985). The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships. Harper Collins.
Robbins, M. (2011). Stop Saying You’re Fine: The No-BS Guide to Getting What You Want. Perigee.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books.
Brach, T. (2003). Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha. Bantam.